My name is Angela Low and I moved to Vancouver last July with my husband and 3-year old daughter, to start my MEd in Human development, learning and culture. Ominously just before we left China (where we’d been for 9 years) a friend sent me a newspaper article that revealed most alarmingly that relocating was the third most stressful event in life, after a death in the family and divorce. Well needless to say I dumped that friend and burned the article, but that piece of info sure bugged me as we embarked on the transition!
Because, stressful it was. The first part was like a test of one’s application-form-filling skills and patiently-waiting-for-answer skills, and I began to envision Vancouver as a city of waitlists (housing, childcare…) I’ve never been on this many waitlists all at once in my life, and being a person used to tackling problems head-on I felt very helpless just waiting for answers from far away and hoping, hoping… Nobody ever told me hoping would be such hard work!
But the “we are glad to inform you” letters came and we arrived last July, and then the next settling-in stage started, which, is easier yet tougher in many ways.
I found balancing grad school and parenthood challenging logistically, and emotionally. I want so badly to do both well, but there simply isn’t even time for everything especially with both my daughter and me working through teething problems and entering a new school. Eventually I decided, for now, that just being a “good enough” student and mom was enough until things settled in, and that helped lower the stress and I could better appreciate what is really an amazing privilege of having my family with me and being in school is a really gorgeous city.
My husband had the tougher job of job finding- which was certainly not an easy task in Vancouver! But slowly it worked out- after months of applications and a few quirky temp jobs (good for stories at the bar J), Derek finally landed in a good position. Life settled into a kind of routine and suddenly time started to fly by once more.
I’m not saying that things are perfect, and even if they were for a moment this changes too… for example since we arrived my daughter’s preschool is closing down, and my classes, which are always in the late afternoon changes days every term which means I have to keep finding new babysitters for that time… but you know what, I find that most people here are genuinely willing to help, and we have such great support services as international students that there is always someone you can talk to for advice, that you are never truly left alone in your battles. And the community here is great- everyone is in the same boat, and we have managed to exchange babysitting hours with other families, or get to know trustworthy babysitters through them.
So don’t try to predict and solve all problems from far away, its enough stress to just be moving! Some problems may cease to be problems when you get here, and others may arise, but at least you will have support, and can work at them much more effectively when you get here. Trust me!
